Worries I Have As A Father
As parents I think we all have fears and worries about the future when it comes to our children. These are the major ones for me, some silly, some serious, but all very real. (Note: this is going to exclude stuff like a child getting an illness, or getting into a horrific car accident, or kidnapping, or anything life threatening because any of those would be devastating and awful and no parent should have to go through that. These are more specific to me.)
How can I keep her protected?
I know it’s impossible and she is going to make mistakes and NEEDS to make mistakes but I just know with how attached I am to this beautiful baby girl, when her heart breaks (whether it’s boys, friends, sports, etc) my heart will break too. I know it’s going to kill me inside to watch her go through situations that I can’t fix. And all I want to do is protect her. Shelter her from the pain and ugliness in the world. (Without being an overbearing psycho parent…)
How do I make sure she feels loved without smothering?
This one might be more of a Mom thing but I just want to make sure she knows that she is loved and appreciated to the highest level. BUT I also don’t want it to be so much so that she dislikes it. (Although maybe I’m in the clear because in the words of Phil Dunphy from Modern Family. ‘Mother’ is in sMOTHERing, “you never hear of anyone getting sfathered to death” haha)
Will she have jaw and teeth problems like I did?
I had quite extensive jaw surgery to help fix my serious underbite. I would feel SO bad if Baby Bird had to go through the long extensive process of getting it all fixed. It was all worth it and I’m so happy I did it but it definitely was a long road.
Will she hate school?
I sure hope not. I hope she gets her mother’s smarts and determination when it comes to school because my feeling towards school at the time was pretty negative to say the least. Although high school may not have any bearing on real life it gives you the opportunity to start a good learning pattern early on, which is something I wish I could re-do.
Will she enjoy the music, movies, and tv shows I do?
I know this one is far fetched from being important or relevant because the generation gap will be huge but I just hope there is something out of those 3 things that she likes. It would be so awesome to have her eventually get excited to have old school hip hop and r&b playing or want to watch Friends and Seinfeld. I know it’s silly but that would make me so happy haha. Just ask Mama Bird how excited I get when she wants to watch one of my favourite shows or rewatch a show (because she never wants to rewatch a series and I do it ALL the time) or when she likes listening to old school DJ Premier instrumentals (which on a side note he is the best producer of all time). Now if Baby Bird was into these things, it would be happiness on a whole other level.
Will she be a clean kid?
This may be my OCD for cleanliness and it shouldn’t matter all that much because kids are kids. BUT I remember kids in elementary that were pretty disgusting. Smelling like they didn't shower, eating boogers, not keeping their possessions clean, etc. I just hope she doesn’t go through this phase but karma will probably come back around and just because I’m writing this she will become the “dirty kid” haha.
Will she be an organized kid?
Again playing into my OCD for organization, there is a right way and a wrong way to organize and I hope she can do it the right way. It’s keeping her toys put away, keeping her closet in control, having her books in order.…(I might need some help with this one haha)
Will she love physical activity?
I can’t see this being a problem with how active Mama Bird and I are but you never know. I hope she has a passion for something athletic. It could be in anything. I just hope it’s something. It would definitely be tough to see my child not care about physical activity at all.
Will she let /want me to help her with sports?
No matter what the sport, I have this dream of being able to help my kids out and train them for the sport they love while having fun and getting quality time together.
Will she have respect for others when I’m not around?
I used to personal train a few teachers and I have heard so many stories of kids that are amazing angels when their parents are around but with any other adult or authority figure they turn into little hellions and have no respect. I hope she is not like this.
Will she give in to peer pressure?
I hope that the values and lessons Mama Bird and I teach her will give her the strength and mind power to stand up for what she knows is right and not give in to peer pressure. We have all been there and peer pressure can be a challenging thing to deal with as a youth. Even when you know something is wrong, you do it anyway because you don’t want to be laughed at or singled out. Kudos to the kids who can stand strong at a young age.
Will she be a leader?
Again dealing with the values and life lessons that Mama Bird and I plan on instilling in her, I hope she can set a positive example. One of my clients was telling me about his son going out of his way to sit with the “unpopular” kids and trying to make them feel good by being kind and inclusive. That is so cool and I wish I would have done more of that when I was a kid.
The thing to know with all of these worries is to first realize them and then be ok with the fact that they are not all going to work out the way you want them too. I know that and that is completely ok, some of them may just be harder pills to swallow when it comes to that time. But now I pass the question off to you, what are some worries you have as a parent? Let me know in the comments below.
- Papa Bird