Visitors After The Baby

     I think “Visitors” is a common topic for new parents to discuss.  Papa Bird and I discussed this amongst ourselves as well as asked around to our friends who had recently had kids. We heard both sides of the spectrum - from having lots of visitors immediately to having none in the early weeks.  I don’t think there is a right way or a wrong way but I think it is definitely a conversation that should happen.  Being organized or at least on the same page will eliminate confusion amongst the wanna be visitors.

     Papa Bird and I discussed having only immediate family and a select few of our friends come visit us while still in the hospital.  Looking back I am very happy we did this for the following reasons:

1.  The hospital room is TINY. 

    -There was barely enough room for Papa Bird, Baby Bird and I along with all of our stuff we had brought to the hospital.

2.   Prevented too much traffic.

    - Especially within the first 24 hours, the nurses and doctors are in an out constantly checking on Baby Bird and I.  I feel that if we had multiple visitors it would have been a bit chaotic and potentially hinder the medical team from doing their job, caring for us.

3.  Avoids “hosting” exhaustion.

    - Naturally I think there is a desire to “host” or “entertain” the visitors.  Especially having a c-section, I felt completely drained from surgery.  Not to mention, the zero sleep we got that first night because of the nurses checking on us and the emotional processing and overwhelming love for Baby Bird that Papa Bird and I were trying to deal with = no time to sleep = exhaustion.

4.  Processing Time.

    - Bringing Baby Bird into the world was such an incredible moment and feeling for us, that I feel it would have been dampened if we would have had lots of visitors right away.  It was extremely special for us to be able to share the moment together and be openly emotional together.  It really enhanced our experience and it was a special bonding moment for us.  

     Following our return home, we only had maximum one set of friends per day come to meet Baby Bird.  For us, this was a good amount.  It allowed for a short visit but nothing that was completely overwhelming.  

     For our extended family, we had our immediate family host a “meet and greet” so we didn’t have a ton of extra visitors coming to our home during the early weeks.  

     It was very fun and exciting to introduce our baby to our loved ones and it is certainly special in its own way, but remember it is exhausting.  By week 5 of having guests popping in I was getting to the point of feeling a bit depleted.  It definitely is a balance of having the appropriate amount of visitors over a duration of time.  AND it all depends on your baby and how you as a couple are adjusting.

     The best advice we can give on this topic is to just have the conversation.  Decide who gets a visitor pass for the hospital stay and who gets a visitor pass once back at home.  There is no right or wrong AND it’s okay to change the plan last minute.  Always put your family’s needs first!

- Mama Bird

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