I’m not sure if it’s a woman thing or just a common societal expectation that birthdays are supposed to be big celebrations.
It’s Papa Bird’s 30th birthday today and he isn’t really a birthday guy. He doesn’t get bummed about getting older but more so hypes up the day to more than it ends up being - which, lets be honest who doesn’t do that. In saying this, when I asked him what he wanted to do for his big 3-0, he simply said, “nothing.” Naturally the wheels in my mind started spinning. Does he really mean nothing? Surely he is just saying that and really wants a big bash? Or a big dinner and cake for dessert? Should I invite people over? Maybe a surprise party?
But lets be real. If a man says he wants to do nothing, he generally means he wants to do nothing - as hard as that is to accept (especially for the ladies.).
This year I listened. And it was hard. Actually had a mini meltdown feeling a bit like a deadbeat wife for not throwing some insane party. I had all these ideas in my mind of what I wanted to do and what I wanted to get. I wanted to give him something cute and sentimental from Baby Bird, and cook a big breakfast and a nice dinner, maybe wine and a special yummy dessert. But when I think about it, he never asked for any of those things. Those were all things I built up in my head and when I failed to execute them I felt the heavy ass burden of guilt.
Like I said, I’m not sure if it’s just a woman thing or if there is this societal expectation, but I personally think that we need to clean the slate here and erase all those “rules.” It’s ok to keep it simple. Enjoy the time with loved ones. And if you are really set on doing something special for that person and didn’t quite pull it off, then pick a random day and surprise them with a special alternate birthday day!
In summary: Kick out the pre-conceived expectations. Listen to what he is saying. Don’t be crazy. Guilt will kill you if you don’t kill it. There are no rules. Enjoy the simple things.
- Mama Bird
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