How To Avoid Stress On The Big Day
The worry of being stressed on your wedding day is legit and very real. And I think it's smart and natural to preemptively worry about it. Nobody wants to be a 'crazy bride' on their big day, but hey happens.
I think the BIGGEST reason for stress when it comes to your wedding day, is the fact that you've spent the past year-ish (or more), thinking, and planning, and obsessing over every single little detail. You literally have 9 billion to do lists and all day everyday you spend your time rattling things off. Let's face it, from the moment you get engaged, your life is wedding. As if this isn't enough of a reason to justify the wedding day crazies! But honestly that's not the only part to it. Let's add in the fact that everything wedding: all the ideas, all the decor, all the timelines and contracts, ya da ya da are all in your HEAD. Literally. You're planning this monumental perfect day in your head! For soo many months! And the only time you get to see everything actually come together (if it even does) is ON your wedding day! This, friends, is why it's legit to be concerned about being stressed on your wedding day. You have no idea if everything, all your visions, will come together until that very day, where it's essentially too late to do anything about it anyways. Talk about panic! Not to mention, you also have every emotion running through your body the morning of, you have to deal with people all day, you're nervous, and starving because you can't eat because you're nervous = hangry, and you're a bit of a perfectionist and a tad OCD and you basically just planned the biggest event of your life and you can't even host it or run it, your basically just a guest. You have to actually trust someone to make sure everything is perfect, which let's be honest, is SOO hard! So bottom line, if your stressed about being stressed on your wedding day, you are 110% normal and justified.
BUT there are a few things you can do to help with taming the day of crazies:
1. Plan some alone time. If your anything like me, your maybe a bit of an introvert or have an introvert side. You worry about being overstimulated and being the centre of attention for an entire day. You're excited but very nervous. You want to keep it together but also be raw with emotion. But how do you not ugly cry as you walk down the aisle?!?!? My suggestion: plan some alone time at some point in your day. What I did: All these worries were real for me. And I didn't want stress or nerves to cloud my day. I didn't want to be preoccupied with panic. I wanted to be present. I wanted to experience the day alert and ready and real. So on the morning of I planned to send my girls to a salon for hair and make up, and I had my hair and make up lady come to my house to get my mom and I ready. Best decision ever. It was soo nice waking up in my own house, sipping a cup of coffee, making my normal breakfast, and just have it be silent. It allowed me to begin processing my emotions. It allowed me to breath and just relax. I also have to add that my make up lady was THE BEST. Her name is Susan and she works with Sen Studios. She has the bubbliest personality and she really made me feel relaxed and excited as she beautified me (which she totally nailed make up and hair!). This was a big thing for me. You don't want someone getting you ready that you feel awkward or uncomfortable with, it will only add to the stress of the day. So pick your artist wisely! Anyways, having my morning be just me, my mom, my artist, and my photographer was great. I had 4 hours of non-chaos. My bridesmaids later joined me at my house to get dressed with their hair and make up already done.
2. Eat Breakfast and pack snacks! It's really important to try to get some food in your belly before you walk down the aisle. You do not want to be hangry! There are also not many opportunities in the day to scarf down food so at least make sure you have breakfast and throw some emergency snacks in your purse!
3. Set up the hall the night before. I know this isn't an option for some venues but if you have the opportunity to set the hall up the night before, it really helps! You are able to see and literally visualize your day coming together. This was HUGE for me. I had no idea if my vision was going to come together as I had it in my mind, until setting up the hall. It was very reassuring!
4. Allocate jobs to designated people. Whether you have to hire someone or you designate a friend or family member, there are jobs that people need to be in charge of. Firstly, have someone know your exact vision of the ENTIRE day. That way if something goes wrong or if someone needs something, they don't need to disturb you. Secondly, if you are having your ceremony and reception in the same venue and need to switch things over, you need someone responsible for this. Pick this person wisely and literally draw out what you want the space to look like so there is no room for questions. Thirdly, write an itinerary for your bridal party. Having them know exactly where and what they need to be doing at every point in the day is very helpful! Included on their timeline should be getting ready, when and where they are needed for photos, if they have any other duties in the day, etc. And lastly, if you only have one photographer, designate someone to help gather friends and family for photos. The day goes by very fast! You don't want to be wasting time rounding up people for photos - so put someone in charge of just that. Putting people you trust in charge of specific tasks aka running your day, will alleviate soo much stress!
5. Remember it's your day. It's about you and your spouse. It's about love. Everything else is second to that.
There is going to be something that doesn't go absolutely perfectly. And that is OKAY! Look at the bigger picture: you marrying the love of your life with the support of family and friends! How perfect is that?! If something goes wrong, laugh it off. Nobody is going to expect perfection, except you. When you look back on the day your going to remember all the good. All the love, how special you felt, how honoured you felt. So do your stressing now, all the way up until the morning off. And then wake up, have a coffee, put a smile on and own your day!
- Mama Bird
To subscribe to the RSS feed click here -->